not 537


my contributions to science have gone unnoticed due to their unimportance and dubious veracity

note 536


sex criminals sound like they should be cooler than other criminals, but actually they are much less cool

note 535


in court, the next worst thing after a death sentence is a life sentence

note 534


i refuse to clip my toenails until we do something about gun violence in this country

note 533


some of you wouldn’t last a minute inside my murder chamber

note 532


i promise! i was sitting there and the eschaton just immanentized itself!

note 531


wow “the exception that proves the rule.” i guess everything just proves the rule huh

mapgame 2


this is a map but i took away the title and legend. your goal is to guess what the map represents. (this one is very very hard without hints)

the map

tiny hint

the warm colors are related, and the cool colors are somewhat related, with the two most blue colors being closely related

small hint

this information was found in a 2010 census (not the government one but a more specialized one)

medium hint

the chart is about religion

big hint

christianity is not included on the map


the second most popular religion in each state. source. red is buddhism, orange is hinduism, green is judaism, sky blue is islam, and dark blue is baha’i.

note 530


the solar plexus wins my award for body part that sounds most like a wrestling move

LEAKED 2035 IMO questions


Word has spread that a genius yet evil mathematician has leaked the problems that will be contained in the 2035 International Math Olympiad. This mathematician is reportedly a diehard fan of Gottfried Leibniz and will stop at nothing to sabotage math competitions which don’t include calculus. (They also claim to have burned over four hundred copies of Voltaire’s Candide.) Seeing as I once got a 120 on the AMC 10 but was not once selected for my country’s IMO team, I have decided to join the evil mathematician in their quest and publish all of the leaked questions.

Day 1

Question 1

What is 3471239847981237489021374897 times 7807123894710928375490128508734657801634?

Question 2

Suppose there exists a blue guy PP at the center of circle QQ (the “blue world”) with radius 7. Suppose also that QQ has two parallel chords AB\overline{AB} and CD\overline{CD}. The region RR is a blue tree defined by AB\overline{AB}, CD\overline{CD}, and QQ. If triangle ACPACP is isosceles with AP=PC=8AP = PC = 8, what is the area of the blue tree?

Question 3

Prove that every even number greater than 2 is the sum of two primes.

Day 2

Question 4

An island contains 100 goblins, labeled g1,g2,,g100g_1, g_2, \ldots, g_{100}. Each goblin has either a red or a blue hat. The island also contains two gates, one red and one blue. Each day at noon, the red gate opens with probability 2/52/5 and the blue gate opens with probability 7/107/10. The goblins are not allowed to speak or hear or look at anything, except that they are allowed to look at the hats of exactly two other goblins of their choice. Each goblin has 100 days to go through a gate, but if they go through the gate that matches their color of hat they will be killed.

Question 5

Ok now get this one: Is xx bigger than yy?

Question 6

How many numbers are there

note 529


i couldn’t help but notice your various imperfections

note 528


fact of the matter is, if you are hanging out and someone tosses a ball or a pillow to someone else, that object will get tossed around for another 3 to 10 more minutes.

note 527


the garlic community has been shocked by what some are calling “the clove of the century”

note 526


does anyone have some spare essence of bug. i need to make a potion

note 525


life got this bitch reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

note 523


not impressed when someone tells me their ribs fall off the bone. like ok yours dont know how to balance. whatever

note 524


Q: What kind of yogurt do gorillas eat?


Gorillas don’t eat yogurt!

colors of noise


“white noise pink noise brown noise” you may have heard of these. well i’ve listened to all of them for about 30 seconds apiece and here are my ratings. the official source for each color is whatever came up first in youtube search.

this is not on the same scale as the ones detailed in that one blog post. unlike music i wouldn’t listen to any of these for fun.

note 522


“her bark is worse than her bite,” she said.

then the dog shot me with a gun.

mapgame 1


this is a map but i took away the title and legend. your goal is to guess what the map represents. (this one is very very hard without hints)

the map

tiny hint

14 other countries would have been colored in some past versions of the map but not in the current one

small hint

if this were colored based on a sliding scale, the US would be by far the highest on the scale

medium hint

possible map title: “countries that contain at least one [redacted]”

big hint

it’s about a fast food chain


countries that contain at least one arby’s