notes

note 529

i couldn’t help but notice your various imperfections

note 528

fact of the matter is, if you are hanging out and someone tosses a ball or a pillow to someone else, that object will get tossed around for another 3 to 10 more minutes.

note 527

the garlic community has been shocked by what some are calling “the clove of the century”

note 526

does anyone have some spare essence of bug. i need to make a potion

note 525

life got this bitch reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

note 523

not impressed when someone tells me their ribs fall off the bone. like ok yours dont know how to balance. whatever

note 524

Q: What kind of yogurt do gorillas eat?

note 522

“her bark is worse than her bite,” she said.

then the dog shot me with a gun.

note 521

somebody better call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. cause im cracked

note 520

just another sanic sunday

note 519

i need a blinker on the roof of my car for when i ascend to heaven

note 518

crossing the road should be illegal. learn to appreciate the side you’re on.

note 517

in 2025 when you google me, every single image will be me smiling awkwardly at some red carpet photoshoot

note 516

going to stop taking life advice from people who aren’t happier than me

note 515

well, i’m trapped in a psychic prison for the next 2000 years. but at least i’m not danny. that guy’s trapped for 3000 years

note 514

unlike the leaders of many Top corporations , i have never laid anybody off. if any ceo is “triggered” reading this then i grant them permission to kiss my ass

note 513

capitalism would be a lot easier to solve if you could just Shoot corporations with a Gun…

note 512

it takes a village to raise a child. but it only takes me, the world’s most powerful and evil necromancer, to raise a child from the dead

note 511

personally i’m just glad they’re not beating an alive horse. that would be really mean

note 510

fun fact: i played Godot in the last broadway production of Waiting for Godot