notes

note 501

hey how do you feel about forks. picks up a fork and waves it at u you know what i’m talking about? these things?

note 500

well as they say, “the antagonist of my antagonist is my protagonist”

note 499

shoutout to all the girls who are firing their lazor tonight

note 497

as an anarcho-syndicalist, i could never date an anarcho-primitivist. just too many differences between us to make it work

note 498

some people can’t take a joke these days 😂 for instance, i told a guy “why did the chicken cross the road, IDIOT MORON?” and he got super mad at me 😂😂 lol some people 😂

note 495

i think instead of genetically engineering plants to make them grow better we should try to create shoop da whoop in real life

note 496

”…but it has a keycode. the code changes every week but it should be written on a piece of paper taped to the door.” so you go out to the hallway and see the code is 4871, but the 8 key on the keypad is jammed. you go back and ask, but they tell you… [2/18]

note 494

if that’s your girl, then why is she peeing in my litterbox

note 493

what if instead of Clippy it was called Plippy :)

note 492

i’m kind of like Jokester :) from the movie Jokester :)

note 491

the liberals won’t even know what to do once i get a hold of my Device

note 490

sisyphus, you’ve got it buddy. i believe in you. cmon, this is your chance, just keep your eyes on the prize

note 489

they kicked me out of the carthusian monastery cause they were jealous of my swag. haters won’t say anything about it, due to their vow of silence

note 488

i stopped going to grocery stores ever since they stopped selling artefacts and potions

note 487

hi,......, i’ve noticed you haven’t been responding to my telepathic messages lately

note 486

what if i replaced 4% of your molecules with aluminum acetate? you would die rather quickly, no? just a thought i had.

note 485

oh? you like running jokes? then get on a treadmill and be one.

note 484

i’m kind of like if an underappreciated genius was a boy

note 483

what if something really improbable happened. wouldn’t that be crazy

note 482

why do they keep including british people in every show. this forced diversity is getting ridiculous