shortform

list of words that are b then vowels then t

bit bat bet bot but bait bite bait butt bate beat beet boat baht boot bout bight butte beaut bought

note 609

im tilt shifting a photograph of you to make you look 2 inches tall

note 607

worm 1: would you love me if was a worm

worm 2: no

worm 1: aw man

worm 2: we can still be friends though

note 608

no my party is not Y2K themed. it’s December 4th, 2000 themed. Jeff Garcia had just had that huge game against the Chargers. remember?

note 606

being a little forest elf is serious business.

note 605

if things keep going the way they’re going… i might have to rage against the machine

note 604

the way out store called. they said everything’s out of stock except through

note 603

i’m writing the Die Hard of christmas songs. it’s not about christmas per se, but it does happen on christmas

note 602

i am now selling the world’s strongest placebo. the placebo effect you get from this thing will be insane

note 601

ladies can’t get enough of my elaborate plumage

kelp

note 600

why would a spider bite you. that’s so mean

note 599

if your boyfriend is green, that’s not your boyfriend. that’s green paint

note 597

there should be a historic expensive liberal arts college in Sammamish, Washington. take one from the northeast and move it there. maybe Bowdoin

note 598

would you rather get one marshmallow now or two marshmallows in forty years

note 596

The Rules of Baseball:

1. Safety First
2. Swing the bat hit the ball
3. Don’t let them catch it!
4. You run run run and then there’s home plate
5. Just do your best out there
6. Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks
7. Three Strikes… You’re Out!!!

the ultimate morning alarm

i tried to make this my alarm sound but i could only use 30 seconds. if i could use the whole thing it would be the ideal alarm i think.

note 595

some new AO3 tags:

• light turmoil
• preening
• undue ends
• dead horse don’t beat

note 594

i must scream, and fortunately i have a mouth :)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

note 593

[gesturing dismissively at the horizon] that’s a coworker sunset