home / shortform

notes

note 27

2017.05.27

no one can tell that you’re bleeding when you’re swimming in a pool of blood

note 26

2017.05.22

the water cycle is not eligible for the presidency in 2020. any organization with the aims of putting the water cycle in office is unfortunately misguided

note 24

2017.05.18

oh no, i wanted to distinguish myself from the cyber-monkeys that have come to rule the earth, but i too have become a cyber-monkey

note 25

2017.05.18

quiz: which type of pea are you?

note 23

2017.05.16

new 100% successful dating trick! get any girl you like! i call it the petrarch method

note 22

2017.05.15

there’s a certain sense of freedom that comes from driving to the store and buying two lemons

note 21

2017.05.11

has anyone else noticed how pointy needles are

note 20

2017.05.08

i’ve been noticing lately how many things look like inkblots

note 19

2017.05.04

dianetics. a true cult classic

note 18

2017.05.02

yolo! that’s spanish for yol

note 17

2017.05.01

chair book table is the most english sounding name ever

note 16

2017.04.30

the bartender says, “why the long face?” a tachyon wearing a horse mask walks into a bar face?

note 15

2017.04.27

now imagine you’re fucking a sheep

you fucking like that don’t you

note 14

2017.04.25

now the real question is, do fingers look like carrots or do carrots look like fingers

note 13

2017.03.21

cool math fact: if the digits of a number add up to 1, the number is a power of 10

note 12

2017.01.22

everyone riding dragons in movies but why do they stop worrying about falling after the first 3 seconds

note 11

2016.12.18

sugar cookies? as opposed to what

note 10

2016.12.16

be careful who you call ugly in reindeer school

note 9

2016.12.14

on ugly sweater day, tape a piece of paper to ur shirt that says “ur face”

note 8

2016.09.25

in the beginning, there were two words: intro and duce. we added them together and called it introduce. this was revolutionary at the time.